Let Me Tell You
MY STORY
The transformation, and redemption, of my life is unbelievable even to me at times! My journey from a caterpillar crawling on the ground, shrouded in darkness, to a butterfly soaring free in the light, is nothing short of a miracle of God! I live a life now I could never even think or imagine - I have a hope and future I did not think was possible - I literally should have been dead and gone. I have a family that has overcome generational curses of divorce, adultery, and addiction - and I have two daughters on earth, and one in Heaven, when I was told I would not bear children. I have a beautiful community of friends surrounding me when I spent a large part of my life lonely, depressed, jealous, numbing out with alcohol, drugs, and promiscuity, feeling not good enough for anyone or anything.
Jesus pursued me relentlessly and found me in the darkest of places - literal hell on earth. After a childhood of abuses, surviving rape as a teenager, and being groomed into the sex industry, I could not take living any longer - it felt far too hard. I believed I was dirty, used up, worthless, and unloveable. In a bathtub, that I had filled to commit suicide in, I called out his name - "God, if you are real...I need you to save me right now." I went underneath the water, and the next thing I know I was completely outside of the bathtub with no one around. Later, in an inner healing session, it was revealed that Jesus answered that call and pulled me out of that water. I left the industry after that night.
God never stopped pursuing me. He later encountered me extremely drunk, physically violent with my boyfriend, where He told me I would die if I continued to live like I was. He led me to a church where upon entering, and hearing worship for the first time, I heard Him say, "Beloved, you are finally home." In that moment I had hope drop into my heart that my life could be different than it was. The unresolved pain of my life was overwhelming, the voices of my past were extremely loud, and it's an unsurmountable challenge to change the way you live when you do not have a support system fighting with you.
.png)
So God found me again. This time high on drugs, at a rave, after I had fallen into the new age world seeking love, peace, and meaning. He repeated the same thing, "You will die if you continue to live like this." This voice was not condemning or accusatory - it was the voice of the Father's deep love and compassion, grace and mercy. A voice I had not heard in my life, but deeply longed for. I chose to respond.
I stopped doing drugs, going to raves, participating in new age rituals and practices, and I cried out to God again for help. And because He is so faithful, He led me towards Himself through Christian music, church sermons, messengers in the form of small group leaders, Bible studies, and life-giving friendships. He got me to a place where I began to feel seen, known, loved, and accepted - where I was hearing truth that was like the most nourishing food for my soul, and where He was starting to confront the lies, strongholds, and demons of my past.
I eventually gave Him my life, and my surrender, and since then I have been running on the accelerated path He put before me. He divinely put people in my life that freely offered deliverance, inner healing, discipleship, intimate friendship, a safe place to start sharing my story, counseling, and more. He opened up my spiritual eyes to the Kingdom of Heaven and the intimacy found in relationship with Him. He showed me who I am in Him through numerous encounters in His inner chamber, in the Garden, in the throne room, and in the Heavenly home He has prepared for me. He filled me with His love and Truth. He sent me to ministry school for three years, and on mission trips internationally and nationally to share what I had received. He led me to getting a certification in inner healing and deliverance, and He is still providing and coordinating even greater healing, wholeness, and oneness with Him. I will spend the rest of my life journeying with Him - always seeking greater depths and revelation as I am being perfected into the image of Him.
And this is why I am passionate about helping others on their journey, and determined to see other women arise into who they were always designed to be. There is nothing that shocks me or surprises me, nobody is too far gone or too dirty, nothing is too big, or too hard, for God. My life has given me the capacity to compassionately hold space for people and their stories, and to empathize with others' struggles. I am only alive because of Him, and so everything I do is for Him, and through Him. I carry breakthrough and victory, deliverance and freedom, joy, peace, and rest because of what Jesus has helped me overcome in my life. The testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy - what He has done for one He will do for another. I am more than a conqueror - and so are you!
This is what has forged Crowned and Connected.